AFlyingMuffin
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the “bad guys” in hallmark movies end up always being the most respectful men ever.
because they will find out their girlfriend of 3 years (that they were about to propose to) went off to a random farm in minnesota, hours away from were the two of them built a life together, and she decided to just… stay there without even consulting him.
and then he decides to take a trip to make sure she’s okay, because this is generally alarming behavior, and then sees that she literally fell in love with her ex within one (1) week- and he wasn’t there, but you can TELL that they’ve made out a couple times.
and then she just strings him along for a few days, until fucking christmas eve, when she just breaks up with him and is like “i know we used to have the same values, but i’ve never loved you. mark makes me happier than you ever did. and you ONLY care about work, whereas i like christmas and fun, like a Good Person.”
and then, after finding out his entire relationship was a lie and he had his life turned upside down in a week and he got dumped on christmas, this guy’s just like “ok yeah that makes sense. i only wish you the best of happiness with mark. i hope you guys build a great life together in christmastreefarmville. thank you for everything.”
An AU where two Hallmark Christmas Bad Guys are both getting flights back to New York after being dumped by their respective Smalltown Blonde Girlfriends, and they bond over their shared experiences and fall in love in the departures lounge
@teashoesandhair your wish is my command :)
Probably, Levi should be more upset.
Probably he is still in shock. Right? He looks out of his taxi window (it’s not technically a taxi, just some guy named Corey who offered him a ride to the airport, because Uber doesn’t operate in fucking Tinyville, Bumfuck Middle-Of-Nowhere, Utah) and tracks water droplets racing each other down the glass, because of course it’s raining, and his bad knee is killing him.
Levi sniffs and rubs at his eyes and then pulls out his phone and books a ticket back to New York, wincing as four hundred and twenty-six dollars are deducted from his bank account.
And, like, he should definitely be more upset.
He just got broken up with. He was engaged, for God’s sake. A four-year relationship… over. Just like that.
Corey says, “Ten minutes to the station."
(via slimegirl-pseudopod)
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ID: Two white people in hats are in what appears to be a workshop. One is in a green shirt, the other in a backwards cap. Green shirt says: “We’re just sitting here, two autistic guys-”
Backwards cap cuts the green shirted one off as the camera switches to a loose pile of bolts. They say: “-Looking at a pile of bolts, wondering how much fun it would be to sort them.”
Green shirt as the camera switches back to them: “Dude, if you give us a ball and a couple tupperware containers, oh my god.”
Backwards cap as the camera switches back to the bolts: “Let the ‘tism run wild.”
Green shirt, as the camera zooms in and out on the bolts: “Oh, the tism would be so involved.” /end ID
i would be in that pile bolts for hours. when i was a kid my mum used to give me her change from all the different countries shed be going to, cause her eyes were bad and id sort that shit for her and it was so fun <3 soothes the tism
(via seegsonsmechanic)
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coat:
i don’t want boy pussy i want Man CUNT i want that pussy that’s gonna grab my dick and shake it FIRM like a job interview
Do you want to be a boy with a pussy or do you want a MAN with a CUNT?????
(via damnitandy)
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